Whatever the situation can be, one has to be strong, see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if one wants to move through it successfully. All people want good friends, good jobs, and good relationships and finally to succeed. It is hard to be mentally-tough, especially when one feels stuck. The ability to break the mould and take a bold new direction requires that extra grit, daring, and spunk that only the mentally-tough people have.
It is fascinating how mentally-tough people set themselves apart from the crowd. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome. There are habits one can develop to improve one's mental toughness. In fact, the hallmarks of mentally tough people are actually strategies that one can begin using today.
Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally-tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them. Moments that test your mental toughness are ultimately testing your emotional intelligence (EQ). Unlike your Intellectual Quotient (IQ), which is fixed, your Emotional Quotient (EQ) is a flexible skill that you can improve with understanding and effort. It's no wonder that 90% of top performers have high EQs. Unfortunately, EQ skills are in short supply. Talent-Smart has tested more than a million people, and they've found that just 36% of these are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen.
"Whether you think you can, or think you can?t?you?re right." H. Ford
Mentally tough people subscribe to Ford's notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed. This notion is not just a motivational tool, it is a fact. A recent study at the University of Melbourne (Australia) has showed that confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others did. True confidence, as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities has a look all its own. Mentally-tough people have an upper-hand over the doubtful and the skittish because their confidence inspires others and helps them to make things happen.
Ability to neutralize toxic people
Mentally-tough people identify their emotions and do not allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most people. Mentally-tough people control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their emotions and do not allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person's standpoint and are able to find common ground and solutions to problems. Even when things completely derail, mentally-tough people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
Ability to embrace change
Definition of 'insanity' is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.Mentally-tough people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action, should these changes occur. Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you are going to recognize, and capitalize on the opportunities that change creates. You are bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. After all, the definition of INSANITY is 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.'
Ability to say No!
Mentally-tough people know that saying No! is healthy, and they have the self-esteem and foresight to make their 'Nos' clear. Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco has shown that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Mentally tough people know that saying No! is healthy, and they have the self-esteem and foresight to make their 'Nos' clear. When it is time to say No, mentally tough people avoid phrases such as 'I don not think I can? or 'I am not certain.' They say No with confidence because they know that saying No to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. The mentally tough people also know how to exert self-control by saying No to themselves. They delay gratification and avoid impulsive action that causes harm.
Knowledge that 'Fear'is the No.1 source of regret'
Do not be afraid to take risks. Mentally tough people know that when all is said and done, they will lament the chances they did not take far more than they will their failures. Do not be afraid to take risks. I often hear people say, 'What's the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?' Yet, death is not the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you?re still alive. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.
Ability to embrace failure...
The road to success is paved with failure
Mentally tough people embrace failure because they know that the road to success is paved with failure. No one ever experienced true success without first embracing failure. By revealing when you are on the wrong path, your mistakes pave the way for you to succeed. The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you are feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. It is this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box, and to see the solution that you have been missing.Not dwelling on mistakes. Mentally-tough people distance themselves from their mistakes, but they do so without forgetting them, lest they repeat them. Mentally-tough people know that where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems that you are facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinders performance. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy, which produces positive emotions and improves performance.
Mentally tough people distance themselves from their mistakes, but they do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success.Not letting anyone limit your joy...Mentally-tough people know that regardless of what people think of them at any particular moment, - they are never as good or bad as people say they are. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When mentally-tough people feel good about something they do, they will not let anyone's opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. While it is impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you do not have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people's opinions with a grain of salt. Mentally tough people know that regardless of what people think of them at any particular moment, one thing is certain; they are never as good or bad as people say they are.
Not limiting the joy of others
Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Mentally-tough people do not pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they do not need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Jealousy and resentment suck the life right out of you; they are massive energy-stealers. Mentally tough people do not waste time or energy sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up. Instead of wasting your energy on jealousy, funnel that energy into appreciation. When you celebrate the success of other people, you both benefit.